Hapy 4th of July!~
Alone on Saturday, July 4, 2009
Yes it's Fourth of July here in America. Yet, I'm at home blogging. Why?
That's a very good question that I do not have an answer to. Let's just say, I got lazy and I brought this on myself. I will start out with what happen last couple of days.
The 9-1-1 incident. I am THIS close to posting that on http://fml.com but I'll stop myself here. I think it was just a day ago, Colin wasn't feeling quite well, so I gave him a call at around 1AM after my steamy-hot shower. Biggest mistake ever was that I used the home phone to dial. I didn't want to waste any more of my minutes because I don't have unlimited minutes; anyways, it was 9-1-x I could've sworn i pressed the 1 only ONE time. AND I hanged up before it even reached there (or so I assumed) and it WAS kinda dark. So I went ahead and dialed Colin's number right away telling him what had happened and asked him if he was feeling any better. We heard 2 beeps on our line. Colin reassured me it was okay. Then my sister woke up and saw me on the phone. She immediately picked up and eavesdropped from the phone in our kitchen. I asked Colin to wait a bit, but that dumbass kept saying "Hello, hello." Swear to god. Learn to follow directions? That's why I hate talking on the phone, people can't comprehend for shit and I don't find phone chatting very convienent. Then, like about 5 minutes after, 2 police cars came knocking on our door. I believe they rung both doorbells, of our appartment and the people below us, in addition to banging on the door un-gently with her knuckles. I rushed down imediately scared SHITLESS. I explained to the officers and one of them asked for my name and phone number (I believe for the record so they will probably think I'm prank calling 911.) but WOW, that was SO shocking how fast the call reached them. I felt really bad because maybe someone was in some REAL trouble and they dispatched 2 cars here instead of somewhere else. Anyways, dad was CRAZY mad. He started screaming some shit but I guess both my parents were to tired to say anything. Then, my sister started talking shit like I can't make mistake or something. She thought I was prank calling 911? What a joke. I can't stand her attitudes and dumbass thinking. Anyways, the only ones who were cool with it were my brothers. Thank god, wish I had another brother instead of this dumbass sister. I'd give her away/trade her anyday NOW. Seriously, me having a sister is probably worse than NOT having one at all. But then, i'm just unlucky that SHE's my sister and DAD's my dad, you know?
So, The next day I was hopelessly scared. I kept rethinking of the scenario and frightened myself. But luckily, my parents were cool and my mom talked to me.
Hmmm, I need to get some new bras, sport bras aren't very usefull and my real bras are ripped. :\ FML. TARGET/WALMART NOWWWSS T_T.
Anyways, yesterday I talked to Colin. I was scared and I guess he was trying to comfort me? But it wasn't working. He wasn't feeling well himself and I was being selfish again. I don't know what happened I snapped and he got mad, yet AGAIN. I swear this relationship isn't working out. As much as I want it to, I don't think we're meant to be for each other. He's overly sensitive and I just don't love him the way he does me. On that note, I never really fell in LOVE yet. Maybe I did at first with Ricky? (an ex) but it was soon ended in heartbreak. I was the one breaking it :D Not to be an asshole, but he was a jerk. Boy, was I blind. Ricky didn't cheat on me or anything, it's just he has never done anything for me to make me feel loved. It was just intimacy and "getting laid" was what I felt he wanted. (Thanks alot skater boy Simon.) Oh man, I'm going to totally confuse myself with all these names =_= I need a note-to-self thing. AH, why do I keep going off-topic >_< WTH FUCKING BLOGGER SO FUCKING RETARDED. FUCK
Nobody's talkin' 'cause talkin' just turns into screamin'
And now it's I'm yellin' over her, she yellin' over me
All that means is neither of us is listening
And what's even worse?
That we don't even remember why we're fighting
So both of us are mad for
Nothing, fighting for
Nothing, crying for nothing
But we won't let it go for
Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got
Yup, Just like that. That's why I'm here on Fourth of July wishing that I had done something better. I was going to go running to clear my head today (wish I should have) but I woke up later than I had anticipated and ended up not going... fml. I'm so stupid and lazy. I'm gonna be fat and dumb the rest of my life T_T. Seriously.
Oh man, I shouldn't have attempted to make Jasmine Milk Tea at home... It wasn't bad. It was just I'm lactose intolerant T_T and I'm suppose to go out with my homies tomorrow too... FML AGAIN. UGH
<3
that one Asian girl